When I was referring to denial where you highlighted, I’m meaning denial that the problem has resurfaced. Sorry for the confusion, as this entire post is meant to show an honest look at an unusual circumstance. I’ll likely know before anyone else as I’ve made concrete markers that old habits are back (a hangover, blackout or getting drunk), but I’m thankful others are available for a reality check if I say “Oh, I’m fine.” If they say something, I’m not fine. Thank you for the further reflection from your comment. Well wishes!

I’d also like to invite your perspective on my follow up post about denial here on Medium.

https://info-92748.medium.com/am-i-in-denial-or-could-moderation-work-for-me-83607ac66d04